Grim + Rambling About Creating

So, I mentioned in the last post how I have been having trouble getting my idea of the Grim Reaper (specifically for the story) how I want it. I think I may have done it though! 

(In addition, there's some rambling after the art under the cut.)

One problem I've had with designing Grim is I really, really love giving characters fluffy hair, and that doesn't really work for Grim (in my opinion.) Here's an iteration that I gave up on, mostly because I didn't like how it was turning out and knew I could do better.

The pose wasn't really "Grim" to me, the hair was definitely off, the face was too round, etc etc... I don't really want my Grim Reaper to be cutesy.

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Now, this next iteration of Grim is basically what I've gone forward with design-wise, despite just being a rough sketch at this point. Both this and the previous image were done in CSP.

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Finally, I decided it was time to whip out the iPad and Procreate. Despite having less features and more limitations, I really do draw better on my iPad compared to on my computer. The full body image of Grim has extremely long legs, but I just needed to get the design out so I wasn't worrying too much about it.

I am honestly in love with the headshot I drew of them, though. It kinda makes me wanna change my art style to this style of shading.

Okay, if you're only here for the art, then it was nice to see you! Now, I'm gonna ramble about difficulties I face when it comes to finishing projects.

I've never been great at finishing my big projects. Might be due to the ADHD, might be an issue with me as a person. One of the biggest issues I face, though, is just worrying about making things "perfect." Especially with writing. I end up going back and rewriting things in the middle of writing instead of just letting myself finish the draft, and suddenly I've spent 2 hours on maybe 300 words.

It also doesn't help that I've always been more of an artist than a writer. It makes me wonder, do I have the writing talent to tell the story the way I want to? I get so much anxiety over not doing it "right" that I end up paralyzed and unable to do anything, but I want to change that. So I am trying. I have a notebook I carry around that I write my plans in, trying to make things easier on myself by not having to sit in front of an empty document while my brain forgets every word I've ever known. I have a habit of writing partial scenes in the notebook, too, which does help a lot, even if I'm not using those exact words or scenes in the full draft. 

Another big worry is other people reading my work, despite creating a publicly available game being the end goal. This ties back into wanting to do things "right." If what I write doesn't come off the way I want it to, I haven't really done it "right," have I? But I try to remember that I'm the only one who can tell my stories. It just has to exist, it doesn't have to be good, even if that's what I want.

That's enough of my rambling! I'm not even sure it makes sense, I'm pretty sure I repeated the same point multiple times, but I just wanted to get it out there. If you read this far, thank you and I shall see you again soon!